11/11/11

to many, this date is just another day waiting to pass by. but to me, this date has its significance. it's once in a century date. it's the day full of number 1. hence, it's a very significant day and it should be spent with the most significant person.

for once, i do not regret skipping all my appointments just to be with my significant one. the feeling of guilt turns into a moment of joy. it's something i won't forget for the rest of my life, no matter how forgetful i am. and it takes two hands to clap; if she didn't accept my invitation, it wouldn't be significant as well.

we shared everything on this date; we shared laughter, stupidity, childishness and tears. while watching the movie, i knew how she would have felt. without turning and looking to her, i knew that she had tears flowing on her cheek; yet i was so helpless and undecided, should i lend her my shoulder to cry on or not. but i chose not to in the end, because i knew she wouldn't want me to see her cry, i knew she wanna hide her pain from me; but i knew what she was crying about. at the touching moment of the movie, i actually had tears in my eyes as well. because i knew how significant she was to me, yet her mind was thinking of others. at that time, i thought that i wouldn't stand any chance; i was a relationship-wrecker. and at that point, i told myself that i should leave her for good. cause a guy's dream is to see the girl he loves to be happy.

for the rest of the day, my mind was filled with many voices. one was saying this was a bad idea; another said that it's probably the right thing to do. i felt guilty, and helpless at the same time. the laughter and the playful menacing that she made on the way back to her place was greeted by my somber mood. at that moment, i thought this would be the last time we'll be in such situation.

dropping her off, i wanna asked her or just to tell her what i had in mind. but looking at how beautiful she smile, how happy she laugh that night i just couldn't do it. i left, thinking that it's all over. tears flowed down while i was driving back. it may sound like i'm weak, but losing something that you regard as the best thing in your life is the hardest thing one could face. i was contemplating afterwards, whether i should tell her or just ease off her life without knowing. when i was driving back home, i decided not to stay up and wait for her; yet in the end i slept in front of my laptop waiting for her to come back. i don't know why i do that, but i just do.

turns out what i thought was the right thing, wasn't the right thing. i could've commit the biggest mistake of my life, and regret it for eternity. because of fate, i stayed up and waited for her. because of fate, she was able to clarify my doubts. because of fate, now my feeling for her is stronger than ever. and because of this, i wouldn't wanna lose her.

it's true that we may not have gone through many hardships yet; there are so many obstacles and challenges ahead. yet somehow i am confident that we would be able to get through this. it takes time for her to erase her past memories, but knowing that we would be writing the future together it makes me so glad and bless.

so 11/11/11 is not only significant because i went out with her. it's because of the feelings that have grown stronger because of that. *cross finger* i hope that i could make her feel the same way as i do.

happy 111111 =)