its been a while since i posted something here ... anyways just a pre-post before putting up my "looking back at 2009" post ...
have u had this thing happen to u ... at first things started out well and everything just seems to fall in place ... one day something just went wrong ... everything just isnt the same anymore ... why?? ... am i being coward and just backing down?? ... is it cuz i couldnt stand up to tat "something"?? ... am i just thinking alot?? ... these questions been wondering in my mind for like ... a very long time ...
same thing keeps happening over and over and over again ... why?? am i supposed to hav bad luck all the way?? ... i cant hav any good things happen to me?? or maybe it isnt as well as i think ... maybe its just an illusion ... which im blinded in it and struggle to get out ... tats why its only me whos suffering ... i guess ...
this sucks ... big time ... how i wish now that this thing call emotions doesnt exist ... then i would hav no feeling ... i wouldnt be disappointed ... wouldnt get hurt ... been trying to ignore those emotions ... but i cant ... im just merely a human being ... maybe i should try being heartless ... dont give a damn bout anything ...
i dunno ... all these things mixing in my mind right now ... gotta do something to keep me away from the thoughts ... cant wait to return to sunway ... not cuz of the classes ... but starting next year i'll be joining at least one club/society and hopefully the student council ... one of the main reason for joining all of these is so tat i wouldnt hav time to hav all these emotions ...
hmmm ... i'll guess we'll see in around 2 weeks time ... crossing my fingers now ... hope that i dun fail any of my subject ...
have a nice day :)